Enough talk... HAVE AT YOU!
Oh man. I just saw an awesome sight. At the front of my house is a veritable Serengeti, home to squirrels, cats, dogs and the odd wino. And all of them are always up to something. Something suspicious. Anyway, I was fortunate enough to watch a tortoise-shell cat creep up on a squirrel.
Having a great view, I noticed the kitty had got his eyes on something. Given the amount of squirrels on the wilderness plains in front of my house, it was obvious a squirrel was due some serious smackdown. Checking to see if the squirrel had noticed, I'll call him Nutsy from now, it was clear he hadn't. He was going about his happy little business looking for nuts. Little did he know, death was edging closer to his bushy tail.
Rat-crusher, the name I gave the cat, moved with such stealth. Moving with perfect form, stop-starting like a VCR player. He focused on one thing and one thing alone; the kill.
At this time, I had noticed that another squirrel had seen Rat-crusher. Like a gentleman, he had ran up a tree to safety and wiggled his tail a bit. Clearly, he had no intention of warning Nutsy of the impending doom. What an asshole.
The moment to strike was upon us. Rat-crusher braced himself. THEN, I noticed, all this time, I myself had been closely watched by a fat wood pigeon in a tree close to my window. Stupid thing. I gave it a violent wave and it flew. Problem is, this alerted Nutsy to some trouble. Rat-crusher was as still as statue.
Nutsy moved with anticipation now. He knew some bad moves were going down. Not that he'd seen Rat-crusher yet. By luck, however, Nutsy positioned himself behind a tree obscuring Rat-crusher's view. BAM! Rat-crusher panicked, and ran for the kill. Mistake. Nutsy was up the tree before Rat-crusher got close.
Rat-crusher became instantly bored and walked off like nothing happened. I guess that kind of attitude makes a real winner. Though Nutsy was having an awful time running up and down the branches. That'll teach him to look for food.
Sorry if you were expecting death at the end of this story. I'm as disappointed as you. If it makes you feel better, chances are, Nutsy will take one for the team when he runs in front of a tram like they usually do.
Having a great view, I noticed the kitty had got his eyes on something. Given the amount of squirrels on the wilderness plains in front of my house, it was obvious a squirrel was due some serious smackdown. Checking to see if the squirrel had noticed, I'll call him Nutsy from now, it was clear he hadn't. He was going about his happy little business looking for nuts. Little did he know, death was edging closer to his bushy tail.
Rat-crusher, the name I gave the cat, moved with such stealth. Moving with perfect form, stop-starting like a VCR player. He focused on one thing and one thing alone; the kill.
At this time, I had noticed that another squirrel had seen Rat-crusher. Like a gentleman, he had ran up a tree to safety and wiggled his tail a bit. Clearly, he had no intention of warning Nutsy of the impending doom. What an asshole.
The moment to strike was upon us. Rat-crusher braced himself. THEN, I noticed, all this time, I myself had been closely watched by a fat wood pigeon in a tree close to my window. Stupid thing. I gave it a violent wave and it flew. Problem is, this alerted Nutsy to some trouble. Rat-crusher was as still as statue.
Nutsy moved with anticipation now. He knew some bad moves were going down. Not that he'd seen Rat-crusher yet. By luck, however, Nutsy positioned himself behind a tree obscuring Rat-crusher's view. BAM! Rat-crusher panicked, and ran for the kill. Mistake. Nutsy was up the tree before Rat-crusher got close.
Rat-crusher became instantly bored and walked off like nothing happened. I guess that kind of attitude makes a real winner. Though Nutsy was having an awful time running up and down the branches. That'll teach him to look for food.
Sorry if you were expecting death at the end of this story. I'm as disappointed as you. If it makes you feel better, chances are, Nutsy will take one for the team when he runs in front of a tram like they usually do.
posted by Toddimus Prime at 1:52 pm
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